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7. What is the most transformative conversation you have ever had on the subject of fashion or style?

I can't think of a specific conversation but two transformative pieces of writing stayed with me; one was an article I read in a newspaper years ago about a beautifully-dressed older woman who turned out to be completely blind. She said she made the effort in order to show respect for and give pleasure to other people. The second was Linda Grant's 'The Thoughtful Dresser', which contained the story of a woman who attributed her (and some of her friends') survival of a German concentration camp to regular tiny gestures of self-beautification. These kept their morale up and stopped them from succumbing to despair. I've heard that dressing well and wearing makeup can make a great difference to the morale of terminally ill people, too.

What clothes suit my body figure best

again, when I was a teenager, some "friends" told me that I looked like a whore... they were just jealous, they were wearing the same shirts and tshirts...

To be honest, the most transformative 'conversation' I have ever had on the subject of fashion or style was reading Women in Clothes. I have always been interested in clothing and fashion, but I have felt a lot of shame over the years for having such a preoccupation with it and have rarely brought it up with others. But when I read this book, I felt liberated. I felt like my interest wasn't overly-materialistic or frivolous. It was simply my own process of dealing with something that everyone has to deal with every day. The book allowed me to pursue my own idiosyncratic interest in this area while giving others the freedom to pursue it in their own ways and to celebrate the vast difference. I felt like I had had a conversation with six hundred women, and we all came away a bit more self-aware and generous toward each other. I don't think transformative is too strong a word for that.

Helping people figure out what clothing style suits them best.

With my daughter, who explained that you can't put on another person's clothes. What you choose is very uniquely you, even though you feel (I feel) that I am just a number in a mall. 2nd was with my mother, who I suddenly noticed took a lot of care with her clothes and skin care. Why did I not know she loved expensive shoes?

I'm struggling with this one. I've had pleasant conversations that I enjoy but I don't think I've found them transformative. I love talking about shoes. I love looking at shoes, admiring other people's shoes, gazing at shoes on the Internet. My own collection is not that extensive; as a former dancer, I really prefer comfy shoes myself. I've also been enjoying conversations with my twelve year old daughter lately about makeup. I think I used makeup when I was younger to cover up perceived inadequacies. She uses it artistically to express herself. I guess my conversations with her are the most transformative, because I'm seeing makeup as something deeply pleasurable and creative, which I hadn't seen before.

In my early 40's We moved our business to a small community and my clothes were new again. I embraced my unique style and made great use of finding second-hand gems that complemented everything. I can't remember any particular transformative conversation but I do feel, in my own little way, I did bring a unique freedom (in the way I dressed to that small town).

Someone told me I could wear any look I wanted when I had said I couldn't t wear a certain style.

I think it was with my mother when she said that I shoudl wear mini skirts. She said I had legs, so I should show them off because there are people with far worse legs out there (regardless of my own personal issues with my body), and they have no shame in showing them off.

I haven't so far...

Never been transformed by a style/fashion conversation.

Probably the conversation, at my interview, that took me from studying history to footwear design.

I'm often asked to help my family members clean out their wardrobes. It's so cathartic & cleansing when they let go of clothes that no longer work for them & then see them get excited by the possibilities of what's left to wear.

Defending (and believing) myself when I defied the trendy girls. Too damn bad they didn't approve.

Probably a conversation about why we fashion blog with Joelle from La Petite Noob.

I've never had one.

With my friend Libertad (, about fashion freedom, and how it can show your personality.

I have gray hair, sort of thin & limp, that goes to the small of my back. I always, always wear it in a braid.

I hear constantly at work "You should cut [dye/style] your hair. It would look so great short." I keep hearing that message loud & clear, and it made me feel defensive.

Then one day someone passing on the street said "I like your braid". I suddenly realized how often I hear that, too, but that message was never getting through.

From that moment, I stopped being defensive about anything about my appearance. My style (and often lack thereof) is my choice, and it's my choice to feel good or bad about, but no one else's.

I don't know


How much young girls rely on labels for fashion and identity instead what fashion really is, being able to spot a cheap piece and making it look like a million bucks. Young women don't realize youth and a radiant personality stand out more than. The expense outfit.

Can't remember any.

I remember driving up into the hills once with a friend I had known since elementary school, though never all that well, someone who was so intelligent and so articulate and had always done so well in school, was always seen as a perfect guy, and at this time, in high school, he was changing a little, he was just a little less clean-cut and a little more scruffy and dreamy-eyed and it was like the perfect-seeming self so many people had been seeing was getting more complex. People were wondering about him, like, what's going on with him? And I had started to have a crush on him. Anyway, we drove out to these huge windmills and parked and sat at the base of one and just talked and talked, talked about anything really thoughtfully and it was great, and I remember him saying why can't people just wear what they want? What would the world be like if people just wore the things they liked, and it didn't matter if you were male and the things you liked were skirts or flowers or whatever, if there were just no cut-and-dry expectations for what people of each gender were to wear. If people just decided, I like this, I'm drawn to this, and so this is what I'm going to wear. And I didn't get the impression it was like this simple situation where he was like wanting to wear skirts and so he was thinking how unjust it was that he was expected not to, I mean I didn't even get the impression he wanted to wear skirts at all, although I could have been wrong. It just seemed like he was questioning things, questioning why anyone has to be afraid to present themselves in any particular way at all. Because people can't. Without being hated, and feared, and harassed, and abused. It's so absurd, and it's so real. Anyway, at that time that wasn't really something I had thought about, and I really admired everything about what he was saying and how he was saying it. I still think about that sometimes.

Someone told me about the Dressing Your Truth book by Carol Tuttle. In this conversation my friend said "it's not about right or wrong colors, but it's about what vibrates with you. What makes you feel balanced and comfortable in the clothes you choose." I think of that comment at least once a week while I'm trying to figure out what to wear.

None. I don't really talk about fashion or style much.

This one

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