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Sam Helmey

1. When do you feel at your most attractive?

when pretty girls wanna make out with me

2. Do you notice women on the street? If so, what sort of women do you tend to notice or admire?

yes. punk women and indie women and hardcore women

3. What are some things you admire about how other women present themselves?

independent and hardcore and sexy and smoking cigarettes

4. Was there a moment in your life when something “clicked” for you about fashion or dressing or make-up or hair? What? Why did it happen then, do you think?

no

5. What are some shopping rules you wouldn’t necessarily recommend to others but which you follow?

never buy clothes

6. What are some rules about dressing you follow, but you wouldn't necessarily recommend to others?

never wear a hat

7. What is the most transformative conversation you have ever had on the subject of fashion or style?

nebr

8. Do you have a unified way of approaching your life, work, relationships, finances, chores, etc.? Please explain.

with anxiety and low self esteem. not gonna explain that

9. Are there any clothing (or related) items that you have in multiple? Why do you think you keep buying this thing?

socks and underwear

10. Have you ever successfully given someone a present of jewelry or clothing that you continue to feel good about?

i gave my sister a sweater that was 2 small for me it looks better on her

11. Is there any fashion trend you’ve refused to participate in and why? 

wolf shirts becase it was cool

12. Can you say a bit about how your mother’s body and style has been passed down to you, or not?

definitely

13. Have you stolen, borrowed or adapted any dressing ideas or actual items from friends or family?

i only feel secure when i'm wearing the sweater my dad left when he went away.

14. Was there a point in your life when your style changed dramatically? What happened?

yeah i started matching my socks and for about a week it really boosted my self-confidence

15. Is there anything political about the way you dress?

my che guevara t-shirt viva la revolución

16. Please describe your body.

knock out

17. Please describe your mind.

boring

18. Please describe your emotions.

none except when i have too many

19. What are you wearing on your body and face, and how is your hair done, right at this moment?

whatever

20. In what way is this stuff important, if at all?

it's my entire identity

21. With whom do you talk about clothes?

Jesus

22. How do institutions affect the way you dress?

society is an institution man. fashion is an institution man.

23. Do you think you have taste or style? Which one is more important? What do these words mean to you?

I OWN SWAG

24. Do you remember the biggest waste of money you ever made on an item of clothing?

jean jacket. sincerely.

25. Are there any dressing tricks you’ve invented or learned that make you feel like you’re getting away with something?

underwear is only important if you're not going to rewear your pants!

26. Do you have style in any areas of your life aside from fashion?

my dope rhymes!

27. Can you recall some times when you have dressed a particular way to calm yourself or gain a sense of control over a situation that scared you?

yes I'm only totally calm when naked

28. Would you say you “know what you like” in the area of fashion and clothing? If so, do you also know what you like in other areas of life, that is, are you generally good at discernment? Can you say where your discernment comes from, if you have it? Or if you don’t have it, why or why not?

this question was too long

29. Did your parents teach you things about clothing, care for your clothing, dressing or style? What lessons do you remember? Or did you just pick things up?

no

30. What sorts of things do you do, clothing or make-up or hair- wise, to feel sexy or alluring?

v neck v neck v neck v neck v neck v neck

31. Many people say they want to feel “comfortable,” or that they admire people who seem “confident.” What do these words really mean to you?

...exactly the dictionary definitions

32. If dressing were the only thing you did, and you were considered an expert and asked to explain your style philosophy, what would you say?

I wear what i want when i want and i dont fuckin need your god damn validation fashion is dead and it's never coming back

33. What is really beautiful, for you, in general?

america

34. What do you consider very ugly?

poop

35. Are you generally a good judge of whether what you buy will end up being worn? Have you figured out how to know in advance?

yes. try it on

36. When you look at yourself before going out, and you are trying to see yourself from the outside, can you describe a bit about what this “other person” is like? What do they like, dislike, what sorts of judgments do they have? Is this “outer eye” based on someone you know or once knew?

this is too introspective im not in the mood for this shit

37. What is your process getting dressed in the morning? What are you considering?

underwear first if i deicde to wear it that day. then pants.or shirt. then whichever of the previous is missing still.

38. What are you trying to achieve when you dress?

evolve to charizard

39. What, for you, is the difference between dressing and dressing up?

how much axe i use

40. If you had to wear a “uniform” what would it look like?

jorts

41. What would you say is “you” and what would you say is “not you”?

i would say i am me and i am not me

42. What is your cultural background and how has that influenced how you dress?

almost none. a lot.

43. Do you remember a time in your life when you dressed quite differently from how you do now? Can you describe it and what it was all about for you?

i went to gym once

44. What sorts of things do you do, clothing, make-up or hair-wise, to feel professional?

shoulder pads and top bun baby

45. How do you conform to or rebel against the dress expectations at your workplace?

once again, no underwear.

46. Do you have a dress code, a school uniform, or a uniform that you wear for an extracurricular activity?

my polo for the country club

47. Are there ways in which you conform to or rebel against these uniforms?

i button the top button!

48. Do you find it comforting or constraining to have a uniform?

yes!

49. What is an archetypal outfit for you; one that you could have happily worn at any point in your life? What do you like about it?

robe and sandals and crown of thorns. savior archetype ya know? it's humbling

50. Do you ever wish you were a man or could dress like a man or had a man’s body? Was there ever a time in the past?

Are we men or are we Devo?

51. If there was one country or culture or era that you had to live in, fashion-wise, what would it be?

space, 2666

52. Do you consider yourself photogenic?

oh definitely

53. When you see yourself in photographs, what do you think?

give that boy a box of milky ways

54. Are there any figures from culture, past or present, whose style you admire or have drawn from?

WHY NOT FUTURE

55. Have you ever had a dream that involved clothes?

yes

56. What would be a difficult or uncomfortable look for you to try and achieve?

cool

57. If you were totally comfortable with your body, or your body was a bit closer to what you wish it was like, what would you wear?

briefs!!!!

58. Is there anyone that you are trying to attract or repel when you dress?

attract: friends and pretty girls. repel: basic people

59. Are there any dressing rules you’d want to convey to other women?

sincerely no

60. What do you think of perfume? Do you wear it?

sincerely no

61. What are some things you need to do to your body or clothes in order to feel presentable?

believe in them and myself

62. How does makeup fit into all this for you?

msgsferf

63. Is there a certain look you feel you’re expected to like that you have absolutely no interest in? What is it? Why aren’t you interested?

no but i have to get this off my chest. There is a certain look that I'm expected to not like: the high-waisted jort. I'm tired of dudes saying it's ugly or they'd rather see low waisted jorts showing a girl's butt crack. I think the high waste is cute and sophisticated

64. Can you describe in a basic way what you own, clothing and jewelry-wise?

no I am not basic

65. What is your favorite piece of clothing or jewelry that you own?

sincerely: my adidas

66. Tell us about something in your closet that you keep but never wear. What is it, why don’t you wear it, and why do you keep it?

my tallis. My Jewish identity has changed a lot as I've grown up and I don;t think my atheism has to conflict with my being a good jew.

67. Looking back at all your purchases over the past five to fifteen years, can you generalize about what sorts of things were the most valuable to buy?

no

68. Is there an item of clothing that you once owned, but no longer own, and still think about or wish you had back? What was it, what happened to it, and why do you want it back?

my red cowboy boots i had when i was 6 that my mom gave to charity because i wouldnt take them off to go to sleep. I've never slept a full night since

69. If you had to throw out all your clothes but keep one thing, what would you keep?

easily a onesie. obviously a onesie seriously. i would say dress but i dont have one.

70. Building up your wardrobe from nothing, what would you do differently this time?

no regrets

71. What’s the first “investment” item you bought? Do you still own or wear it?

jean jacket. no

72. Was there ever an important or paradigm-shifting purchase in your life?

scarf!

73. What item of clothing are you still (or have you forever been) on the hunt for?

acceptable suspenders

74. What are your closet and drawers like? Do you keep things neat, etc?

yeah basically they open and close

75. Were you ever given a present of clothing or jewelry that especially touched you?

a "hip-hop nutrition facts" t-shirt from urban outfitters

76. Did you ever buy an article of clothing without giving it much thought, only to have it prove much more valuable as time went on? What was the item and what happened?

nah

77. How and when do you shop for clothes?

slowly when i need to feel sexy

78. Do you like to smell a certain way?

oh definitely

79. How does how you dress play into your ambitions for yourself?

they are one in the same.

80. How does money fit into all this?

it doesn't my stacks reach the ceiling my money too long it does not fit

81. Is there an article of clothing, a piece of make-up, or an accessory that you carry with you or wear every day?

socks

82. Did anyone ever say anything to you that made you see yourself differently, on a physical and especially sartorial level?

"that scarf looks good on you"

83. Do you remember the first time you were conscious of what you were wearing? Can you describe this moment and what it was about?

my red cowboy boots :'(

What’s your birth date? 
Where were you born and where do you live now?

scorpio 1993. Atlanta. Space

Say anything you like about your cultural/ethnic/economic background.

I grew up in rape culture. I'm ethnically white but culturally interesting. like i said stacks to the celing

What kind of work do you do?

wurk

Are you single, married, do you have kids, etc.?

forever alone

Please say anything you like about yourself that might put this survey into some sort of context.

i give up

How do you feel after filling out this survey?

#based

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