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Simone Bayer

1. When do you feel at your most attractive?

When it is warm outside, I have no PMS, I am not stressed, and I made an effort.

2. Do you notice women on the street? If so, what sort of women do you tend to notice or admire?

The ones that flip men off while smiling widely. Or when they look awesome and unique, wearing leather or bold colors, and are clearly above 70.

3. What are some things you admire about how other women present themselves?

I like it when they are pride, undefied by the male gaze and the pressure of "you have to dress your age, not slutty, not too modest, etc."

4. Was there a moment in your life when something “clicked” for you about fashion or dressing or make-up or hair? What? Why did it happen then, do you think?

I learned that I will be objectified, no mater my age, or what I wear. I also noticed that once my good name is ruined, I can do whatever, without being ostracized. I felt like shedding a mask, finally being able to breathe, to be finally me, and not what others wanted me to be.

5. What are some shopping rules you wouldn’t necessarily recommend to others but which you follow?

do not spend more than 200 dollars in one day

6. What are some rules about dressing you follow, but you wouldn't necessarily recommend to others?

very short skirts only for evenings, and never hotpants, because they look weird on me.

7. What is the most transformative conversation you have ever had on the subject of fashion or style?

When my mom ranted about me only wearing black, and me hating pink. Turns out...I really hate pink, and love black. I never want to wear a mask again.

8. Do you have a unified way of approaching your life, work, relationships, finances, chores, etc.? Please explain.

Do what you want, but do not hurt anyone, including yourself by doing so. If there is a problem, communicate. And if you want something done, do it yourself. And do the opposite what the masses demand of you.

9. Are there any clothing (or related) items that you have in multiple? Why do you think you keep buying this thing?

Black long sleeved tees. because they go with everything.

10. Have you ever successfully given someone a present of jewelry or clothing that you continue to feel good about?

Yes, someone told me she liked snowflakes, so I gave her a silver snowflake. But I'd never give clothes, because clothing is personal.

11. Is there any fashion trend you’ve refused to participate in and why? 

Pastels, oranges, yellows...I hate those colors. And hot pants. I do not look good in hot pants. And those ghastly prints, they remind me of my grandmothers drapes.

12. Can you say a bit about how your mother’s body and style has been passed down to you, or not?

Not at all, even though she passed down all her clothing to me.

13. Have you stolen, borrowed or adapted any dressing ideas or actual items from friends or family?

Nope, not that I am aware of. Well, some earrings of my mother in law, they looked better on me than on her.

14. Was there a point in your life when your style changed dramatically? What happened?

I left working at a bank, went to uni, and was able to throw out all the clothes I had to wear there. I was free to finally be myself...and ended up in gothic clothing, mostly.

15. Is there anything political about the way you dress?


16. Please describe your body.

Thin and athletic, but a massive bum and thighs. Hip and upper body is an 8 or 10, but my bum...14.

17. Please describe your mind.

Liberal, freethinker, agnostic, intelligent, curious, rebellious

18. Please describe your emotions.

I am unafraid to show my emotions, I am either extremely frustrated, or extremely happy. I am a bad liar.

19. What are you wearing on your body and face, and how is your hair done, right at this moment?

boots, slim jeans, t-shirt, sweater jacket, pony tail. Colorful glitter eyeshadow, bold, dark lips

20. In what way is this stuff important, if at all?

It is cold, so I wear clothes. If I do not wear fully goth in a few weeks, I have to goth myself up, at least over the weekend, I have to be me.

21. With whom do you talk about clothes?

My husband

22. How do institutions affect the way you dress?

I do not want to give my supervisor at uni a heart attack, so I do not wear full goth at the lab. She is pretty okay with my purple hair, though.

23. Do you think you have taste or style? Which one is more important? What do these words mean to you?

Taste: I have a good taste, and I have a unique style. I am able to combine both.
I do not criticize style of others, but I criticize taste sometimes.

24. Do you remember the biggest waste of money you ever made on an item of clothing?

Yes, a skirt that just looked awful on me.

25. Are there any dressing tricks you’ve invented or learned that make you feel like you’re getting away with something?

wide shirts cover my huge bum

26. Do you have style in any areas of your life aside from fashion?

I usually do what nobody expects from me, so my wedding was my style (aka just me and my husband, nobody knew of it, no rings, we kept our names)

27. Can you recall some times when you have dressed a particular way to calm yourself or gain a sense of control over a situation that scared you?

I do not change clothing after I was scared...but i need to wear goth when I feel bad, depressed or burned out.

28. Would you say you “know what you like” in the area of fashion and clothing? If so, do you also know what you like in other areas of life, that is, are you generally good at discernment? Can you say where your discernment comes from, if you have it? Or if you don’t have it, why or why not?

Yes, very much so.
Yes, I can. yes, I can.

29. Did your parents teach you things about clothing, care for your clothing, dressing or style? What lessons do you remember? Or did you just pick things up?

I learned not to ever wear the thing my mother likes.
My mom taught me to dress as modest as a nun, in oversized clothes, no makeup, to dress that nobody sees me. I hated it, because assholes still see you.

30. What sorts of things do you do, clothing or make-up or hair- wise, to feel sexy or alluring?

Hardcore goth up: black lipstick, leather, fishnet stuff, corsets, high heels.

31. Many people say they want to feel “comfortable,” or that they admire people who seem “confident.” What do these words really mean to you?

To not give a hoot about all those other people who try to force you into wearing things you loathe. There is no way to make everybody happy. Too slutty vs too modest, too much make up, not enough make up, showing too much body Vs hiding your body in a burka. There is always someone who disagrees.

32. If dressing were the only thing you did, and you were considered an expert and asked to explain your style philosophy, what would you say?

I wear what I like, deal with it, and go forth a buy stuff you like: the colors, the texture, the feel, the look. And if it is a giraffe onesie, do it.

33. What is really beautiful, for you, in general?

Happiness, and contentment. Ageing without trying to hide it.

34. What do you consider very ugly?

Hate, jealousy, and botox. And prints.

35. Are you generally a good judge of whether what you buy will end up being worn? Have you figured out how to know in advance?

Yes, because I always think about what I will wear it and combine it with.

36. When you look at yourself before going out, and you are trying to see yourself from the outside, can you describe a bit about what this “other person” is like? What do they like, dislike, what sorts of judgments do they have? Is this “outer eye” based on someone you know or once knew?

Nope to the last sentence. I can tell that the other person is strong willed, and not easy to coy. she seems to not give a second thought of what others will think of her.

37. What is your process getting dressed in the morning? What are you considering?

I consider the weather and the temperature, and if I feel more like jeans or skirt. then I choose my makeup to match my clothes, and if I feel like the whole makeup or the quick and dirty version.

38. What are you trying to achieve when you dress?

To not freeze to death, to feel good n it, and to not give a heartattack to my supervisor. Sometimes, if I have to meet people who do not know me yet, I make an effort to look more serious, aka less goth.

39. What, for you, is the difference between dressing and dressing up?

The leather, the lace, and the corsage. And the black lipstick. And the underwear.

40. If you had to wear a “uniform” what would it look like?

I do not understand this question. My uniform is a labcoat?

41. What would you say is “you” and what would you say is “not you”?

me: purple, black, or with skulls, geeky, and jeans, rock-stuff, or even childish (minions)
not me: pink, prints, hotpants, suits, costumes

42. What is your cultural background and how has that influenced how you dress?

I am a white person, so I have no cultural background, other than being German, because I have white person privilege.

43. Do you remember a time in your life when you dressed quite differently from how you do now? Can you describe it and what it was all about for you?

First I wore the hand downs from my sister and my mom, mostly girly things four sizes bigger, then I wore dress suits and manager-clothes. I wore it because I had to.

44. What sorts of things do you do, clothing, make-up or hair-wise, to feel professional?

Less make up, less leather, a modest skirt or black jeans, with decent colors. Maybe I put my hair up.

45. How do you conform to or rebel against the dress expectations at your workplace?

I have a sticker saying "mad scientist in training" on my labcoat. I have purple hair. But there is no dress code at work, besides no open shoes, which is a safety measure.

46. Do you have a dress code, a school uniform, or a uniform that you wear for an extracurricular activity?


47. Are there ways in which you conform to or rebel against these uniforms?

not applicable

48. Do you find it comforting or constraining to have a uniform?

not applicable

49. What is an archetypal outfit for you; one that you could have happily worn at any point in your life? What do you like about it?

jeans and shirt, because it is comfy, durable, and goes with everything.

50. Do you ever wish you were a man or could dress like a man or had a man’s body? Was there ever a time in the past?

Yes. I was told at an early age that I was too clever to be a girl, that I was not a real girl, that I was too ugly for a girl, that I will never be anything in my life, that I had no girls interest, that I did not deserve to be alive the way I was. In my childish mind, I had to solve the riddle of my existence, as a girl who was not a real girl, but not a boy either. But I found that I could not fall in love with girls, and that I liked skirts, just not pink. And a few years later, someone told me that it is okay to be myself. what an mind-opener.

51. If there was one country or culture or era that you had to live in, fashion-wise, what would it be?

there is none. Maybe Detroit in the 80s. But not necessarily.

52. Do you consider yourself photogenic?


53. When you see yourself in photographs, what do you think?

Huge crooked nose, weird angle, unsymmetrical face

54. Are there any figures from culture, past or present, whose style you admire or have drawn from?

Blondie, Joan Jett, Marylin Manson, Vivienne Westwood

55. Have you ever had a dream that involved clothes?

Yes, I dream of shopping and hating all the fashion available.

56. What would be a difficult or uncomfortable look for you to try and achieve?

Thin, modely, with long legs.

57. If you were totally comfortable with your body, or your body was a bit closer to what you wish it was like, what would you wear?

The same as now, maybe the skirts would be shorter.

58. Is there anyone that you are trying to attract or repel when you dress?

There is no way to repel assholes, so no.

59. Are there any dressing rules you’d want to convey to other women?

nope. to each his own.

60. What do you think of perfume? Do you wear it?

I like perfume, I wear it Sometimes.

61. What are some things you need to do to your body or clothes in order to feel presentable?

...wear something? Not being nude, please?

62. How does makeup fit into all this for you?

Eyeliner and eyebrows. I need a basic makeup. And contactlenses.

63. Is there a certain look you feel you’re expected to like that you have absolutely no interest in? What is it? Why aren’t you interested?

Dress suits when formal meetings.
I HATE them. they represent slavery and prostitution for me, because it means I bow down and sell myself to the rules of being more manly to reach things in life.

64. Can you describe in a basic way what you own, clothing and jewelry-wise?

black and intense color stuff, comfy, and gothic. Fake jewelry with glass bling or skulls.

65. What is your favorite piece of clothing or jewelry that you own?

Clothing: a corsage dress with black lace.
Jewelry: my first studded collar.

66. Tell us about something in your closet that you keep but never wear. What is it, why don’t you wear it, and why do you keep it?

a white long shirt. Liked it, but it never gets hot enough to wear it. Wore it once in Spain.

67. Looking back at all your purchases over the past five to fifteen years, can you generalize about what sorts of things were the most valuable to buy?

black stuff that is easy to combine.

68. Is there an item of clothing that you once owned, but no longer own, and still think about or wish you had back? What was it, what happened to it, and why do you want it back?

a wooly hat with snoogans stitched on it. I lost it. It was a limited edition thing, and it was soo cool and comfy.

69. If you had to throw out all your clothes but keep one thing, what would you keep?

that corset dress I mentioned.

70. Building up your wardrobe from nothing, what would you do differently this time?

Buy a size bigger.

71. What’s the first “investment” item you bought? Do you still own or wear it?

My doc martens with steel caps and skulls on them. yes, I still have them, 18 years later. I still wear them, too.

72. Was there ever an important or paradigm-shifting purchase in your life?

Those steel capped doc martens. They were the first goth item I bought.

73. What item of clothing are you still (or have you forever been) on the hunt for?


74. What are your closet and drawers like? Do you keep things neat, etc?

naw, I am messy.

75. Were you ever given a present of clothing or jewelry that especially touched you?

dragon earrings, from my husband

76. Did you ever buy an article of clothing without giving it much thought, only to have it prove much more valuable as time went on? What was the item and what happened?


77. How and when do you shop for clothes?

when I have money or when I need to replace something

78. Do you like to smell a certain way?

clean is always nice, and citrus

79. How does how you dress play into your ambitions for yourself?

If someone cannot deal with my looks, I am sorry. I will never ever bow down to expectations again. I'd rather take a second best job than dye my hair more normal.

80. How does money fit into all this?

badly, I have none so far, lol

81. Is there an article of clothing, a piece of make-up, or an accessory that you carry with you or wear every day?


82. Did anyone ever say anything to you that made you see yourself differently, on a physical and especially sartorial level?

not really.

83. Do you remember the first time you were conscious of what you were wearing? Can you describe this moment and what it was about?

A pothead from my class who never talked to me before, came up and said he liked the dress I wore hat day. It was so out of place, out of context, out of character, and it was my first ever compliment (usually comments went the opposite way), I felt like there had to be a hook or some irony.

What’s your birth date? 
Where were you born and where do you live now?

December 1977. Born in Germany, living in New Zealand atm.

Say anything you like about your cultural/ethnic/economic background.

German working poor.

What kind of work do you do?

PhD in biochemistry

Are you single, married, do you have kids, etc.?


Please say anything you like about yourself that might put this survey into some sort of context.

I like being eccentric, and I do not fit in any categories. I love baking, crochet, and heavy metal. I read too much.

How do you feel after filling out this survey?

tired, lots of questions, and bad about procrastinating work


trained banker for 8 years, back to university at age 28, bachelor, master in nutrition sciences, left germany for PhD. Worked odd jobs to finance bachelor and master, got a high class scholarship for PhD. Survived earthquake. Married after 18 years of wild marriage. Do not tell me what to do, I will do the exact opposite.

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