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30. What sorts of things do you do, clothing or make-up or hair-wise, to feel sexy or alluring?
I almost never feel sexy or alluring unless I am actually having sex with someone. If I want to feel confident and attractive, I wear certain clothes that I know to be flattering (usually a black dress), leave my hair down, possibly straighten it, wear a lot of jewelry and do my makeup how I always do my makeup. I think I am too hyper-aware that everyone has a different definition of 'sexy' for me to ever feel objectively sexy. I only feel sexy when I know for a fact that a person is sexually attracted to me, which usually entails me having some kind of relationship with that person that is based on things other than appearing 'sexy' to them.
I wear lipstick, perfume, and beautiful underwear.
I wash. Clean is really important. I especially like clean flat hair, tucked behind my ears with big blasting earrings. And I always push my sleeves up. I think forearms are beautiful. They're elegant but they get the work done.
Manicures are beautiful but incompatible with work. When I have a manicure I feel finished, by which I mean complete, which is excellent.
I’m a painter, and I love painting my face. I wear a lot of eyeliner and lipstick. I don’t know how to do foundation. I wear a ton of jewelry, all the time. When I picture what sexy might look like, I try to channel a look from a painting, a Maxfield Parrish or a Renoir Odalisque. I dream up a fantasy self and paint my way into it.
I don’t know that I do anything special to feel sexy or alluring. If I’m wearing something that fits me well, and that I love, and wear with confidence, then I feel sexy. Red lipstick and great shoes helps.
I don’t tend to think in those terms, so I don’t dress that way. I dress for myself, wanting to find the right outfit to extend/channel/communicate who I am of myself in that day. If I feel comfortable in my clothing then I feel that I’ve achieved what might be considered, by others, the quest to be alluring – though in my case I’m trying to be “alluring” to myself, not to others.
I think I keep making things that could potentially be sexy really unsexy.
I used to have a phobia of mirrors (from ages 16 to 21), so putting some make up on is now a kind of ritual for me. I don't wear loads, but putting on a bit of eyeliner and lipstick (for which I have to look in the mirror) seems like a token step on the road to daily self-acceptance. I also always wear perfume.
I like to be really well groomed: legs and pits shaven, fresh manicure/pedicure, clean sleek hair, and precise make-up. I like pale skin, a smoky eye, and red lips. A very faint dash of Chanel 19. At night, I wear dark-hued clothes that are sexy in a subdued, low-key way—a body-skimming dress or sleeveless top w/ skinny jeans, usually with some kind of statement necklace. No animal prints or bandage dresses, nothing hootchie—and if it's low-cut or short, then the rest should be more covered up. Also, if I'm dressing up, I like the look of heels, though I pretty much never wear them otherwise.
I do everything within my power to never ever appear “sexy or alluring.” I spent years in fashion doing that and finally was able to realize that was not working for me. I attract men like honey attracts bees and flies. And though I no longer pluck my eyebrows or wear any type of make-up and dress in comfortable, though attractive, attire, I still have to ward men off – I’ve even found that I attract women – so being “alluring” is not something I find necessary or desired. The closest I come to make-up is wearing a bindi in the center of my forehead which I do quite regularly because I prefer to dress in Indian clothes a great deal of the time.
heels and a red lipstick
I’ve always thought that it’s best to not try to dress as someone or something you are not. Not that I don’t think I’m sexy, but what I think is sexy is different than the typical “look” of sexy. Sexy isn’t something you can imitate, it's not a "look" at all, and I think this is the mistake people make. To really BE sexy, and embody it is something entirely different than adopting a “look”. To me it’s all about my energy, not necessarily what I have on, it is something to be embodied. It makes me sad to see young girls walking around the city like clones in skin tight short dresses and super tall shoes they can hardly walk in, because they think this looks sexy. It’s not sexy when you can hardly walk, or you are constantly pulling on the hem of your dress. You can tell they are uncomfortable and insecure, that they are doing it for someone else. This upsets me. As far as expressing it on the outside, I think that being who you are and being natural is super sexy. And, beautiful lingerie under anything you have on helps too. The sun on my bare skin always makes me feel sexy. Also, a good smile and a red lip go a long way.
I don't wear much makeup, but sometimes I will go for a bright red lip and a little mascara and a dash of black eyeliner. I will wear my "fuck-me" glasses (tiny little red french cat's eye glasses from the 1990s). I have a tiny little waist compared to my curvy figure, so accentuating my small waist makes the girls jealous and the boys melt. Lately I have been wearing all menswear while still accentuating my figure and that seems to make my kind of creeps climb out of the woodwork. Once I have put that look on the table it makes people bold enough to voice their approval. The inner fetishist rises to the surface. I must have forgotten about Marlene Dietrich because I was definitely surprised when I got these gentlemen all hot and bothered. They were blubbering and stuttering and at was great.
perfume and the right neckline
I think voluptuous hair is sexy, maybe because I’m a Leo. Mine is fine and flat. If I want to feel sexy or alluring I try to give it some volume. It rarely works. So then I console myself with my lips, which are actually quite lovely and full. I try to stand up straight too—not rigid, but like I have a strong core.
When it comes to clothes, anything with an exposed back or shoulders makes me feel instantly sexy, in the makeup department, I geel most alluring with pronounced eyelashes, but red lips do it too! I feel sexiest with colorful, long, curly hair, I haven't had it long for a few years now and it can't grow fast enough for me!
I like using red lipstick as a signifier of this, or nice heels or flat shoes, tights and a skirt, or a pretty white blouse, hopefully with some ruffles on the shoulders... It is very difficult to control my hair well...
I don't wear a lot of makeup but I love dressing in high-waisted skirts with funky patterned tights and high heels. That is a look that really makes me feel sexy.