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31. Many people say they want to feel “comfortable,” or that they admire people who seem “confident.” What do these words really mean to you?
I think being comfortable is feeling good in the way you are presenting. Presenting your truest self in that moment. And I think confidence is the result of that, you love how you look, you're fabulous and you don't need anyone else to tell you one way or another!
I am not really the type who has a wholly comfort-based wardrobe. A lot of items in my current wardrobe do not give me much comfort. I think this is possibly an area I need to work on… I think the whole confidence thing is really about a personal indication that a person feels satisfied with the way they are presenting themselves. But I do not feel the need to constantly arm myself with jewelry or heels just in order to present an idea of confidence.
Comfortable = the external attainment of safety
Confident = the internal attainment of safety
Comfortable means being able to sit, stretch, lounge, move. Not all of my dressy clothes are comfortable, so I mostly hang out in comfy clothes unless I have to. I like seeing people in comfortable clothes because then I know they are probably more relaxed.
People can seem confident in whatever they're wearing. You could be wearing a garbage bag and still rock that shit. It's completely about what's going on in your head. I like confident people and tend to be drawn to them, but who isn't?
I see comfort and confidence as separate with regards to fashion.
Comfort is like sweatpants and chips.
Confidence is a women who just wears the clothes. Clothes can often wear a person and that doesn't look good. You want to be in control of the outfit.
Rocking whatever you choose to wear and not being concerned about what other people think about it. I can't say I succeed at this 100% of the time, but most of the time, I feel in the range of really good to indifferent about what I look like.
Clothes that you know how to wear and don't have to keep adjusting. Clothes that suit your body type. Clothes that aren't too complicated, where you have to keep tugging the neckline so it looks right. You want a certain amount of attention but not to be gaped at. I'm put off by smugness in the wearer, as she twirls about making a show of 'I know I'm pulling this off'. I think it should be up to others to say you look smashing; not for you to solicit the compliment.
Comfortable to me is when I don’t feel like I am going to have a mishap (nip slip, underwear showing, etc.), and I don’t feel overly conscious of any part of my body. For instance, pants make me hyper conscious of the feeling of them around my waist, and that makes me uncomfortable and, ultimately, unconfident. I have found that the absolute sexiest thing you can “wear” is confidence.
comfortable is hopefully possible in a stylish way, but I think I probably fail at that. comfortable means physically at ease, low shoes, jeans and a soft t-shirt. confident means when you see a woman who looks comfortable in her incredibly cool come des garçons getup...
Comfortable and Confident means that you are taking care of yourself physically and spiritually and it shows. You care about yourself - you give a damn.
Being comfortable is being able to do every movement I want to make, freely, not feeling constricted in my clothes, not feeling itchy, things like that. Confidence is about occupying the right amount of space in the world, not too little, not too much.
Comfortable equals in your own skin, not wearing sweats every day. Confident is kind of the same, like if you are feeling tired or under the weather, that's not likely the day you're going to push the envelope, fashion-wise. You need the confidence to be able to pull it off.
It means not giving a fuck and wearing things or doing things that make you happy.
When they say they want to feel "comfortable" that usually are using this as an excuse to not think about what to wear. They are trying to convince themselves that it doesn't matter. When people admire someone who is "confident" that usually means they know they are missing out on the style scene and they recognize other people are looking more interesting than them.
Comfortable means physically feeling good. Nothing's itchy, scratchy or too tight. Too tight is my worst nightmare. As a child, I think it's why I didn't wear pants until age 8 or 9. I felt restricted in pants. I loved the freedom of a skirt. I still love the freedom of a skirt. Especially a long skirt. But, I also love the power of pants.
Confident means feeling good inside. It's a state of mind. Last week I went to Trader Joe's in a state of disarray. My hair was unwashed and disheveled. I had no make-up on. I was wearing a skimpy tank top and ripped boyfriend jeans that I'd retired last year because I'd read that boyfriend jeans are 'out.' I was exhausted from working long hours but the sun was shining and I felt good and satisfied by my exhaustion because I was working on a project that felt like a step in the right direction. I felt like the intriguing, dirty artist hermit who everyone knows lives in the neighborhood but rarely sees except for an occasional sighting at the dry cleaners or Whole Foods. Or, Trader Joe's. I wandered the aisles and had the distinct feeling that men and women were checking me out. I felt good.
Had I been in a different state of mind, I would have felt quite the opposite. I would have rushed in and rushed out, making eye contact with no one. Feeling like a dirty, why-would-anyone-love me girl in last year's boyfriend jeans and her pajama top.
I think it means those people have a style that is beautiful but looks as though little thought went into it.
I don't dress for comfort. This isn't to say that I like to be uncomfortable, but as long as I can walk and breathe and am not unbearably itchy I will wear tight scratchy polyester dresses as I believe the sacrifice is worth it. In the 1990s I read an article by Lisa Carver of Rollerderby zine (it's online here: http://hilobrow.com/2012/01/07/the-art-of-being-uncomfortable/) and took these words to heart. "Uncomfortable does not mean miserable: It means accentuated living. The more uncomfortable you feel, the better you look. And the better you look, the better you feel."
The appearance of confidence has a lot to do with posture. I've always had bad posture, even as a child, and my parents were constantly telling me to sit up straight and put my shoulders back. I was a very shy child and even though I'm no longer shy as an adult, I still have bad posture. But I try to "walk tall" - I give myself the advice that my parents used to give me and that drove me crazy - and when I do this I feel like I could be wearing anything and it would look good.