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3. What are some other things you admire about how other women present themselves?

Here’s a funny thing about the women whose style I admire: most of them are all dark-skinned black women. Given that I’m a Teutonically pale blond, this is quite a reach – a look I could literally never replicate on my own person. I love the look of nubbly or super-shorn hair, the subtle sheen of their skin, the flash of the eyes, the colors that make them look smashing (but render me sad and washed-out). If I were only a black-skinned woman, I would never stop wearing dashikis and bold prints.

How confident and comfortable they are in their way of presenting. I've spent years trying to find clothes that make me feel so wholly "me" that I can't feel self conscious in them. Seeing other women act that way inspires me and I admire it greatly.

Simplicity, refinement, courage to use colour, courage to jump into tight-fitting clothing.

I will always admire confidence, warmth, and presence.

I admire my mother’s hands—it always looks like she’s had a pro manicure, but she does it all herself.

I like seeing people taking risks with fashion and expressing themselves. Because I'm bisexual I also find myself more attracted to women who have a unique style and I'll be more likely to look at their fashion first before I assess whether I think they are physically attractive. I find this interesting because it differs from the things my husband looks for in a woman. He'll often comment on the shape of a face, more structural attractiveness, while I'll be more likely to think a woman is attractive depending on their style. I also think style and risk taking with style sometimes says something about people's personalities which is another reason I'm probably more drawn to women who are bold in their fashion choices.

I admire women who always have perfect hair and makeup (and no cat hair on their clothing).

I am a bit envious of people who the patience to do fancy things to their hair. It's not that I'd do it all the time, but sometimes I'd love a fun up­do or something similar. I have great hair, but apart from dyeing it, I don't have the patience to style it 90% of the time. I brush it. Sometimes, I put it in a ponytail or a bun. That's it.

I admire women who present themselves confidently. You can tell when someone's wearing something they feel great in. It takes a certain amount of bravery to wear whatever you want. It's crazy that that is true, but it is. I try to emulate that.

See above. A woman who isn't afraid to dress costume-y (something I don't do). A woman who will watch and listen and be curious about people and not feel obliged to over-share. A woman who asks questions and is interested in the answers. A sense of being present to her surroundings and not locked in worry and fretfulness.

I admire when a woman appears confident and comfortable – especially if she can present herself this way without showing too much skin or dressing too scandalously. Just keeping it classy.

I admire those women who really have their shit together - the women who iron their clothes and flat iron their hair. Basically, anyone who does any ironing of any kind.

when they are put together in a way that signals intelligence rather than trend. Fearless women who have their own look and look beautiful not because the clothes are sexy, but because they are their very own. And also when their put together-ness doesn't look as if they're a slave to fashion and makeup and the blowdryer, but just that it is their private ritual of femininity.

Posture & Poise!


I admire bold style where the person is clearly dressing for themselves. I can also admire a very clean, minimalist or preppy style, even though it’s not my own; I sometimes wish I had the restraint to pull it off.

I admire individuality and the sexiness that carries.

Confidence in their style whatever it may be. And even just that they took the time to put a look together, which is in short supply today.

There are so many things. I could seriously spend hours talking about how incredibly inspired I am by other women – their clothes and hair and perfect or imperfect faces and beautifully mismatched or matched clothing. But I think it’s all about how confident they seem in their clothes that makes me admire them the most. I like women who “own” what they wear, especially if it’s risky. I love fuck-you women like PJ Harvey. I love costume and outrageousness (but I hate kooky): Daphne Guinness, Marchesa Cassati, yes, but also, a bit quieter: Frida Kahlo in a three-piece man’s suit, yes. My friend, poet Melanie Janisse, can – and does – wear whatever she wants and she looks amazing. She once took me to emergency, because I did too many drugs, and she had on a vintage silk Yves St. Laurent dressing gown that she wore as a dress and I remember coming to, slowly, unhappily and seeing that wave of rich silk and colour and feeling like things were going to be okay because there was beauty.

I’m always impressed when other women have smooth shiny hair or flawless looking skin—I don’t have the patience to straighten my hair to apply foundation with that much care. I like seeing outfits where someone has put a lot of thought into exciting patterns or bold colours.

I like when women have highly tailored clothing that looks like they were made just for them.

To be honest, there’s a million things. I admire most of the women I pass in Toronto, fashion-wise. I think I’m most drawn to unique variations on different “looks”, like when someone is pulling off twists on an “elegant” look, or a “punk” look, but I feel like it’s just their personality coming through- like it’s not ‘put on’, it’s genuine? That’s a hard question and I’m not totally satisfied with that answer, but there you have it. Suffice it to say that I really notice and appreciate the ways in which people put themselves together.

I have friends who always look slutty no matter what they are wearing, and friends who always look ladylike, no matter what they are wearing. I admire that their sense of self is so complete that clothes can’t change or influence that. They will probably know who they are and get mad at me.

I am a fan of women who obviously dress to please themselves. I also admire women who embody gender in interesting ways. I like the contradictions, nuances and complexities.

Women who seem very at ease in themselves make everything they put on look comfortable. Even in high school I knew these women as calm, collected, clean people—it seems impossible. Were they born with confidence? Were their parents just amazing at instilling it? I was an anxious member of the marching band who always had a smudge on her face. I still feel like that person sometimes. I probably won't become self-assured until I stop trying so hard to be so.

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